Part 2 of a two part series on Millennials in the church:

First, I would love to thank everyone for reading, commenting, and sharing part 1 of this series. I’m glad it has opened the doors for discussion and has ‘stirred the pot.’ I couldn’t write that post without writing this one. I do not want it to seem like I’m just pointing out the church’s flaws, and I do not want it to seem like I’m one-sided. Its important to place yourself on both sides of each situation. So that’s what I’m doing with this one. I’m willing to look at our generation in the mirror and pin point some wrong thinking that has kept us from church. Are you?

As I have mentioned numerous times in other blog posts, I was a goody-two shoes for most of my life. Of course I wanted to please God, but I wanted to please people more.  I did it so I could fit in certain groups, feel important, and get that ‘pat on the back.’ Of course it worked, but I became burned out and annoyed. I started to believe the lie that everyone just expected me to perform and I  rebelled. Plus, what did I have to show for this performance? I didn’t get everything I was striving for; living for the pleasure of humans is a shallow way to live. We end up making humans god-like so when we don’t get what we expected ( a title, fitting in with a certain group, that invite, etc)  we leave. So, I didn’t really ‘leave’ (I went to college) but my heart was hardened toward church for a little bit. Is this your story? Has your heart become hardened to church because of offense, misunderstanding, or division and what part do you play in that? Here are some thoughts on how we have gotten in our own way when it comes to church and how we can come back home:

1. We Have to Want it: Even if the church is bursting with community and opportunity to connect, we have to want to come. We have to make a choice to commit (not legalistically) but still, its a choice. We have to choose to be patient in the slow process of building community. This generation likes everything to happen fast and within reach of our fingers but building community and becoming rooted in a church takes some effort and time on our parts. In one of Steven Furtick’s latest messages, “The God of My Gaps” at around the 15:00 mark, he says hes seeing how people are redefining what church means to them. He says people come up to him and say that he is their ‘online pastor’. He’ll ask them: ‘Which service do you look at?’ when in reality they only really watch him on Instagram (ha!). Its crazy, but for them that counts as  ‘going to church’. He went on to say this:“For us to think that church is consumption is so far removed from the original intent of the One who died to establish it.”  Which leads me to my next point…
2.  It’s Not About You: Some people think coming to church is like going to a restaurant or a resort: “What can you do for me?”. I just recently saw a hilarious parody comparing church hunting to house hunting where a couple searches for the ‘perfect’ church just like on House Hunters, instead its called ‘Church Hunters’. Even though its true that being plugged into the right church is important, when do we realize that WE are the church? Sure, comfy seats, good coffee, great lighting and atmosphere are great but a building is nothing without the people. We are the people that carry God’s spirit, and that is what the church is. We are to take what He has poured into us and give it out by serving and loving.  Its not about titles, or hanging out with a certain group; church is not some religious country club. Once we realize that and start really getting our hands dirty there will be no time to fixate on offense and drama because our eyes are only on Jesus.
3. Let. It. Go. All I can really think about is the annoying/slightly played out song belted by every 4-year-old in America right now….but Elsa was right. Ya gotta let it go. I’m talking to myself too because I know all to well the power of holding on to offense. Its limiting, I’m not even for sure that I’m even qualified to speak on this because I’m still dealing with letting some stuff go from my past. When it comes to church, people tend to get hurt by other members and leave  all together. I get it. I am in no way trying to trivialize anyone’s experiences. However, one thing my mom always told me is “God is God and people are people. Don’t confuse the the two.”  The truth? People are people: finite, broken, and imperfect. This means that its highly likely that people, yes even Christians, may hurt you at some point. However, that has nothing to do with you and God. You can’t allow people to dictate your personal relationship with God because they are not your source. He is.
4. Where’s Your Trust At? What is your trust in? God or people?  Do you trust God to promote you or people? Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:33). People were never meant to be our source. You cannot expect people to be everything that you need, if so, you will be disappointed every single time.  Once you know this, you can let everything roll off your back, knowing that God is in control. If you feel slighted or offended, you know God can take care of it. Humans don’t hold your life together, God does. Stop giving them the power to make you mad, make you walk away from your assignment and steal your joy.#NotToday
5. Take The Risk I remember coming back home from school and jumping back into getting involved at my church , I was so hesitant.  I was the 23-year old girl that sat in front of our youth pastors house in my car (like a creeper) calling my mom before I went into the adult leaders gathering. I knew I was invited, I knew it probably wouldn’t be as bad as I thought, but for me it was a huge risk. Sure, this was my home church, but I hadn’t really been involved since I left for college 5 years before. This basically meant new people, a new culture, and new leadership (which is great btw). But this also meant I was now the ‘new kid on the block’. I get it, that’s scary. But I love this quote by John Bevere: ‘If we do not risk being hurt, we cannot give unconditional love.’  Love is risky my friends. But you never know WHAT could happen if you don’t take that leap. So yes, I finally got out of the car and no I wasn’t instant best friends with everyone but it was a step. A step that led to more steps, that’s leading me to slowly build relationships, get to know new people, and embark on adventures. Its good. It feels like being grafted into a family.

Our youth group has been fixated by the church in Acts. They ate together, worshipped together, and lived their lives together. It was more than just coming to a building, they were family. And this genuine connection is what pulled people from the outside IN:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” —C.S. Lewis